Bittersweet
by Marauding-Moonbabe
Summary: Lilly and James go through many hardships in their 7th year. Although there are hard times, there is medicine. 'My mom once told me 'live well, laugh often, and love much' I try to live by that, but sometimes it's so hard to do alone.' James said.
1. Chapter 1

**Bittersweet**

**By: Marauding-Moonbabe**

Ch.1- Beginnings

Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I just stared out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray - I would pray

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes till' I touch the sky

I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I loved

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway

Lily Carrie Evans had a good today. She had got Griffindor 50 points, yelled at James Potter and Sirius Black at least 3 times, and she had gotten 2 extra hours of studying in for 7th year Newt's. She sat in the 7th year girl's dormitory windowsill, looking at the room that had held so many memories. She remembered when her best friend, Raven, had her first breakup in her 3rd year. She remembered when she had cried about her first breakup in fourth year. She remembered that fateful night in sixth year when she found out what Remus Lupin was.

Flashback

"_Hey, Remus. Where are you going? We have patrol duty tonight, remember?" Lily asked as she saw Remus walking out the portrait hole with his friends, the Marauders. Remus's eyes were darting around the room, looking extremely nervous. "Lily flower, I would love to tell you that you are exceptionally beautiful tonight, but I know that you wouldn't like that, so I shall restrict myself from saying that." James- Potter- the- toerag said. "Off the subject, Potter. Remus we have patrol duty, let's go." Lily said, rolling her eyes at the immaturity of James Potter. Sirius said, much too quickly to be believable, "Remus has to help Madam Pomfrey with restocking the supply cabinets, since she's new. Remmy here got the job of giving the tour." The Marauders ran out of the portrait hole quickly._

_Raven came up behind Lily. "I heard it all, and that is the worst lie ever. I saw Madam Pomfrey earlier, her mum was the last nurse, and gave her the tour last week. Let's go to the boy's dorms and look around." The best friends looked at each other smirking. "Maxine, can you patrol with Nick tonight?" Lily asked over her shoulder, "Thanks."_

_The girls quickly snuck into the 6th year boy's dormitory, and looked around at the mess. "This isn't a room, it's a pigsty. It's messier than the last time I saw it." Raven commented. "Oh, and when was that?" Lily asked, curious at why her friend, who was dating Sirius Black, had seen the dormitory before. "Oh, it was nothing like that, Lily, you know we vowed to wait. I doubt we'll last much longer anyway; we're better as love-hate friends. Here is Remus's trunk, we'll probably find something in there." They rummaged through it for a few minutes, to find nothing more interesting than heart covered red boxers, which seemed to have been sent by Sirius. _

_Then, at the bottom of the trunk, they found something very odd. They found a painting. It was a large black dog, beautiful stag, a little rat, and an oddly shaped, mousy- brown haired dog all standing under a full moon. Lily looked out the window to see a blood-red dusk. She remembered her Astronomy charts from last night. Tonight was a full moon! She looked back at the painting, examined the brown dog more carefully, and dropped the painting in shock. "Hey, Raven, I forgot my essay in the library. Can you go get it for me before the library closes? I just remembered a question I need to ask Hagrid. I'll be back in a few minutes._

_Lily sprinted onto the grounds. She saw Madam Pomfrey walking with Remus to the Whomping Willow. She then saw movement in a nearby bush, followed by a flash of messy black hair. She went to the bush. "Going somewhere Potter?" Lily asked acidly. James turned around to face her. Lily almost gasped at the sight of his face. It was so sober, so sad. The regular twinkle was gone from his eyes. He had replaced his cocky, lopsided smile with a concentrating frown. _

"_What do you know?" he asked, eyeing her warily. "I know that Remus is a werewolf, and that you know that as well, from what it looks like." Lily replied. "Yes, he is a werewolf, but he's also a good person. I'll let him know that you know about his furry little problem. Please don't treat him any differently. He beats himself up too much already. We really care about him, we really do. We're helping him in all the ways we can, and you can help by not telling anyone, even Raven, and treating him the same as always. He even hates sympathy, Lily, so treat him the same, but don't let him push himself away from you." Lily was shocked at this James. This James she hadn't seen before. She shook it off, but inside, the feeling was still there- the seed of doubt. _

_End Flashback_

Lily stared out at the waxing moon, thinking of her family many miles away. Her parents loved the fact that she was a witch, but they didn't really understand what that meant. Her sister did not approve of it at all. Petunia was jealous that her sister was talented. Before she got her letter, she really didn't feel like she belonged. She got good grades, but she didn't have friends. Now she had wonderful friends, who were like her. They could do magic.

Lilly heard the dormitory door open. James Potter sat down beside her. Not looking at him, Lilly said, "Potter, you are _not_allowed in here." " Relax Evans, I'm just here 'cause this dorm has the best view," James Oliver Potter replied. " Oh, and how exactly would _you _know that the 7th year girls have the best view?" Lilly questioned. James just smirked.

"Argh! You are impossible."

"That's m' job, babe. So, what do you think about when you see the moon?" James asked, looking at Lilly, with a truly sincere look on his face. Lilly was startled about this new side of James Potter.

"Erm, well I think about a new chance for life, ya know. Like the waxing moon is a promise for a new day," Lilly stuttered.

" Yeah, I think about adventure." James said with a glassy look in his eyes. Adventure? Lilly was confused about that. Adventure for Remus, maybe, but James wasn't a werewolf. Why adventure? "I have already done rounds for tonight, so you don't need to get up. I promise, I did a good job. Night Lils." James got up and left.

_That doesn't seem like James Potter at all. He did rounds for both of us so I didn't have to get up? That's thoughtful. Maybe this is the side of him that Dumbledore saw. Maybe he **was** right to make him head boy. _Lilly thought, and got into bed. The seed of doubt was now a sprout.

The next night finds Lilly and James doing Head Boy and Girl patrol. They went to the Astronomy Tower to find no less than 5 couples entangled.

" Okay, you sick lovers, get the heck out of here and **stop** exchanging saliva with each other! It is **not** sanitary to do that, especially at night!" Lilly yelled.

" Why is it less sanitary at night?" James asked with a lopsided smile. Lilly's stare could stop a rampaging hippogriph. The couples left looking very disgruntled. James leaned on the barrier of the observation area, his messy raven hair blowing in the wind. James looked out at the night sky for several minutes. " Pot- James, what's wrong?" Lilly could sense his unease. It scared her that he was suddenly so serious.

James turned around his eyes wide with shock. "Something horrible has happened, and I think we'll find out what soon."


	2. Chapter 2

**Bittersweet**

**Ch.2- Finding Out**

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I've got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Simple Plan- Untitled

The next day, it became apparent what the horrible thing was that happened. The Daily Prophet had a disturbing article on the front page.

**Death of Aurors in Death Eater Attack**

**In Death Eater attack last night on South Harborton, He Who Must Not Be Named murdered two highly respected aurors, Oliver and Madeline Potter, personally. The attack on the muggle town was unexpected, and the Potter's were the only aurors to respond. They died protecting many muggles, and took over 10 Death Eaters with them. There were no other casualties in this horrid event. The Ministry is being questioned about the lack of employees responding to the attack. The Potters died valiantly and there will be a memorial for them in the atrium next Saturday. **

Remus Lupin had the Daily Prophet delivered to him, and then James and Sirius Black would read it. "So what's in the news today, Moony?" James asked. "Nothing," Remus said much too quickly, while trying to hide the Prophet from his friends. There are many ways to be told that yourparents have died, and learning from a friend's newspaper that they died because they were the only ones to do their job was not an ideal one.

"Come on Moony, you know you are horrible at lying." Sirius said with a wicked looking his eyes. He pinned Remus's arms behind his back while James grabbed he paper.

"Ha! Now  we'll find out what…" Sirius started, but stopped when he saw the headline. " Oh, no, Prongs, speak to me, please. Come on Prongs," Sirius begged.

Gregory Goyle came up to the four friends. Lupin said," We are preoccupied right now, gorilla, so leave before we die from the stench of your body odor."

"You know my friend Lucius Malfoy, right? He wanted to deliver this message to you, Potty." Goyle threw a bit of parchment on the table. James picked it up in a dreamlike trance.

**Hello, Potter. I have had the great pleasure of helping kill your parents. I promise you, they did suffer. I made sure that they were tortured physically and mentally before the Dark Lord cast the horrid curse. They begged to Him, not for their lives, but for yours. He will come for you, and make you and everyone you hold dear pay for the lives of the servants your parents took with them.**

James handed the note to Sirius. Sirius called Lucius Malfoy something that would have given him detention for a month. James's face showed no emotion. He got up and said only two words- tell Lily. He then walked out of the hall in a determinedly forced slow stride. Before the Great Hall doors closed, he had broken into a run.

James did the only thing he could do- run. He ran, and ran, and ran, until he could not run anymore. He went to the Room of Requirement. When he went inside, it had a big, fluffy, four-poster bed, and many fragile objects that looked as though they would break at the lightest touch.

James grabbed the nearest objects and threw them across the room. With a sickening crash, they shattered. James felt savage triumph as he could now control something in his crashing world. After several minutes, breaking things did no satisfy him. A small pocketknife appeared. He grabbed it, and sat on the bed. He cut his arm again and again. He smiled at the blood running down his arm, at the pain coursing through him. He sliced his arm again and again, until his eyes rolled to the back of his head and fell unconscious.

Sirius Black did not want to tell Lily why James was gone from the common room. As it was Saturday, they didn't have class, and it didn't go unnoticed that the Marauders were a member short.

"Hey, guys. Where's James? I need to ask him about something special we're planning as Heads." Lily asked.

"Erm… well…" Sirius started. The grief was too near to say that Mr. and Mrs. Potter were dead. It would make it final if he said it out loud. Sirius loved the Potters. They were his family. His cousins weren't his family. His brother and parents weren't his family. Remus and Peter and James and his parents were his family. Now they were gone.

"Lily, we don't know where James is. We know why he isn't here though." Remus said quietly. He handed her the newspaper and the note, hesitantly. "Oh, no. Remus you must know, you must. I have to find him. I HAVETO FIND HIM!" Lily screamed with tears running down her face. Remus shook his head somberly, and turned to Sirius.

"Sirius, if anyone deserves to know, she does. Get the map." Sirius got up and went up the dormitory stairs, coming down a few minutes later. He handed Lily a piece of parchment and muttered something while he tapped it. It showed James Potter in the Room of Requirement.

"Thank you Sirius, Remus," She hugged them and ran out the portrait hole heading towards the 7th floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bittersweet**

**Ch.3- Coping** **With Lose**

If you want to

I can save you

I can take you away from here

So lonely inside

So busy out there

And all you wanted

was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly

So hurry hold me

Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on

Please can you tell me

So I can finally see

Where you go when you're gone

If you want to

I can save you

I can take you away from here

So lonely inside

So busy out there

And all you wanted

was somebody who cares

Michelle Branch: All You Wanted

Lily ran as fast as she could to the Room of Requirement. _"I need to find James… I need to find James… I need to find James…" _A polished golden handle appeared. She grabbed it and wrenched it open. She gasped at the sight of an unconscious James with his arm covered in blood and a bloody pocketknife in his other hand. She rushed to him.

"Oh James, don't, don't leave me. Not now!" She exclaimed. First aid supplies appeared in the room. She grabbed them and cleaned his arm off. James's breathing stopped.

Lily gasped. She began something she had seen on muggle television commercials: CPR. She clamped his nose shut and lowered her lips to his mouth, forcing air into his lungs. Once, twice, three times. Then James violently coughed and opened his eyes. He vomited blood on the floor.

"Oh James, I thought I'd lost you forever. Are you okay?" Lily asked in a barely controlled state of panic. "I was so stupid Lily, I've failed you, my parents, Sirius, everyone. I don't deserve to live." James said, still coughing up blood.

" How do you figure that?"

" I knew something was wrong, I knew it, and I didn't do anything about it! I killed my parents, Lily, I KILLED THEM!" James lungs tore in the effort.

He looked around for the knife. He saw it in Lily's hand.

"Give to me." Lily shook her head. "GIVE IT TO ME!"

"James, no one blames you, I don't blame you; Sirius doesn't blame you. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know." Lily said and put the knife away.

" I'm so sorry Lily, I can't do anything; I couldn't help my parents, I couldn't help Sirius with his family, I couldn't protect anyone, and now Voldemort's gunna come after everyone that I care about, including you." James said holding back tears that were screaming to come.

Lily opened her arms to him, and James fell into her, finally opening the floodgates that he had held in for so long. They sat like that in the Room of Requirement for over six hours, holding each other in grief, absorbed in their own thoughts.

After midnight, they broke apart. " We need to clean you up, you look like you got ran over by the Knight Bus," Lily said. She cleaned the blood off of his arm, and wrapped it gingerly while James watched her in awe. "You're really good at that." "Well, yes, I hope so, as I want to be a healer," Lily said.

"I… uhhh… kinda was wondering if youwannagotohogsmeadewithme." James stuttered.

"I'll let you think about it for now, and I'll think about it too, okay. Give me a day or two to think and monitor your behavior. Now let's go back to the common room okay? Remus and Sirius and Peter are probably wondering where you are." Lily said.

James frowned, he didn't want to face his friends, he didn't want to face Griffindor, he didn't want to face Hogwarts, and he didn't want to face the world. He wanted to stay here, where there was no outside world, no judgment, no fear. "_But that's not like a Griffindor, is it? I have too face them, whether I like it or not._

Almost as if reading his thoughts, Lily said," Your parents wouldn't want you to hide; they didn't, and you won't either. I'll be beside you the whole time, alright?" She added softly.

As though resigned for the worst, he set his jaw and nodded his head determinedly. At that they got up together, and walked from the room, arm in arm, ready to once again face the world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bittersweet**

**Ch.4 The Funeral**

I tear my heart open; I sew myself shut

And my weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Papa Roach: Scars

The week before the funeral was horrible. People skirted around James in the hallways, as though he had a nasty disease. James did not notice or care about this. He simply delved himself into his schoolwork. The four marauders rarely laughed, and when they did laugh, it was forced and strained.

The day before the memorial, Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily got permission to go. Peter had to go home to his sick grandmother instead. That night the 7th year boys' dormitory was hushed and subdued. Even when Sirius accidentally switched his nose onto a butterbeer bottle no one said anything.

Sirius refused to Dumbledore to go. Instead, he would be going as Snuffles, The Potter's "dog". He couldn't handle going as a human; he couldn't handle the emotions. He felt horrible for James, who couldn't go as Prongs.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter had their lives to live. True, they weren't young, but they had many good years left. Then Voldemort had to come and kill them. All these deaths, all these lives, were all because of Voldemort. He wondered how many people's lives would be sacrificed before this madness ended…

"We have lost two very good aurors, and today, we know that their deaths will not be in vain. We shall catch the ones who did this to the Potters. Thank you." The Minister was not good at speeches, and this was a record horrible one. Dumbledore stepped back up to the platform. "Now, there is one other person who would like to speak." He stepped down to make way for…Lily? Her face was as red as her auburn hair, with teas in her eyes.

"I didn't know the Potters as well as some, but I did know them. They were unusually kind to me, unlike many adults in the wizarding world. Most pureblood adults shunned me because of my heritage, but the Potters looked past that. They saw what few purebloods saw: they saw a person.

"The minister says that we lost two good aurors, but he's wrong. We didn't lose two good aurors; we lost two great people. I leave you with a poem that I wrote for this occasion. I believe that the Potters would agree with it.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there, I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glint on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you wake in the morning hush,  
I am the swift, uplifting rush.  
Of quiet birds in circling flight.  
I am the soft starlight at night.

I am the song that will never end.  
I am the love of family and friend.  
I am the child who has come to rest  
In the arms of the father who knows him best.  
When you see the sunset fair,  
I am the scented evening air.

I am the joy of a task well done.  
I am the glow of the setting sun.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry.  
I am not there; I did not die."

She looked straight at James and said," Let us not gather here to morn their deaths, but to celebrate their lives. The Potters taught me to not dwell on horrid events, and forget to live, so in their memory, I will do as they would want me to, and live on." Tears were now streaming down her face as she stepped down from the podium.

James could not think. Good Lord, he loved that girl. He now felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of him. Sirius nudged James's hand as he absentmindedly stroked the dog's head.

Back in the Griffindor common room, only Lily and James remained. Everyone else had deserted the common room hours ago. Lily sighed. "I don't know much of anything about you. How about we play Truth or Truth, and later Remus and Sirius can join us for Dare or Dare. "Okay," James said enthusiastically. This opportunity was way too good to pass up. He would take advantage of this opportunity, despite his loss.

"I'll go first. James, what is your favorite color?" "Blue, duh. It goes with Sirius's favorite color, pink." James responded while Lilly looked disgusted at his friend's choice of color.

"Lilly, how are you so brilliant?" Lilly laughed. " I study, you great oaf," She said and play slapped his arm.

"Why do you always ask me out?" James gaped at her, then slowly said," Because of your hair, your smile, your personality, and your soul. It amazes me that you can be so beautiful, physically and mentally." These words floored Lilly. James smirked at her mouth that was hanging open.

"My turn. Why do you always turn me down?" James asked, still smirking at Lilly. "Ahh, well, erm… I used to think you were immature arrogant prat who couldn't think of anyone else but himself, and that I wouldn't date you if you were the last male on earth." She said very quickly, as if saying it all fast would lessen the words.

James's heart cracked at that moment, as did his voice. " And now?" he asked in a voice not his own.

"Now I think… that you have shown a different side of you to me. That James Potter is sensitive and caring and brave. It's that James Potter that Dumbledore made head boy, it's that James potter that helps Remus, and it's that James Potter that I want to go out with."

"Re…Really?" James stuttered, and Lilly nodded, losing herself in his hazel eyes, while James lost herself in her green ones. They intertwined fingers as they slowly leaned forward…


	5. Chapter 5

Bittersweet

Ch.5- The Reason

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is You

Hoobastank- The Reason

The 7th year girl's dormitories were in an uproar the next morning. Lily Evans, Raven Monghi, Alice Justus, Amy Fleming, and Maxine Lewis were all talking about last night's events. Lily sat back and let the other girls talk about their nights first. _"I'll save the best for last," _Lily thought.

"Ben Stillman broke up with me last night. But I don't really like him that much. We're better as friends." Amy Fleming said, "I like Ty Sanders, though." "You sure do like those Ravenclaws, don't you Amy?" Alice teased. "Oh sure, like your any better, liking Frank Longbottom." Amy retorted. "Frank's in Griffindor, Amy, you know that." Alice said. "No he's not, he's in the library." Amy told her, as the best friends laughed together.

Maxine said, "Lily you didn't say what you did last night. I noticed that you didn't get back until waay after curfew." "Well, ummm… last night I, uhhh…" Lily said lost for words. "Well, well, well, Lily Evans at a loss for words. I never thought I'd see the day." Lily's best friend, Raven, said.

"Fine," Lily said, "I'll tell you, but only once." Lily talked very fast, but the girls caught every word. "Last night James and I agreed that we know nothing about each other, so we played Truth or Truth. By the way, Max, Sirius's favorite color is pink. Anyway, we were on the couch in front of the fire and… and I think I went mad." Lily said with a look of disgust directed at herself. "There was no logic, and that scares me…" "Lily, there is no logic in love, because your heart doesn't think." Max said. "Wait a second, DID YOU KISS!" Raven asked, a little slow on the uptake. Slowly Lily nodded. The dormitory was filled with squeals. To any outsider, it seemed as though 100 mice had all been decapitated at the same time.

"Oh my gosh! This is sooo awesome." Amy said, her girly side taking over. "So, did you French?" "Ewww, no. For this to work, James had better keep his tongue to himself… for awhile." Lily replied. "Oh, 'for awhile', huh Lily? Seems like your slipping up on your self-righteous- yet- hate- James –Potter –with –a -vengeance plan." Max teased. "Oh, hush Max. Raven, you seem a bit quiet about all this. Did you and Remus do something naughty last night, too?" Lily asked as Raven's face went brick red.

"Kissing isn't naughty, at least the normal type, and you know Remus- he isn't like that." Raven said, her face reddening with each passing second, with a look on her face like a cornered animal. "Okay, out with it. Talk to me! It looks like I wasn't the only one to have fun last night, Raven." Lily said, grinning wildly. "Fine! I'll tell you." Raven said, "Well, last night we doing our rounds at the astronomy tower…."

Flashback

_"Alright toe-rags, get to bed, your own beds, if you don't mind. If I catch any of you in a broom closet, I'll make sure that a certain Severus Snape takes advantage of your lips. I hear he's swinging at both ends of the fence now." Remus said, sounding veery bored. The couples left, glaring at Remus. Raven giggled at Remus's joke, "That sounds like something Black would say." "It is something he would say, but he couldn't think of something like that all by himself. You don't give me enough credit." Remus said smirking. "No, I don't, do I? I do like you better then your friends though, a lot better." _

_Remus then acted on pure impulse, and leaned forward, pulling Raven into a gentle, chivalric kiss. Raven's arms went around his neck, pulling him closer. Remus then realized what he was doing, and hastily pulled away. "I'm sorry. I have to go." Remus said, with a longing, sorrowful look on his face as he fled from the astronomy tower…_

End Flashback

"Hey, Prongs, can I talk to you? Padfoot too?" Remus asked, looking uncomfortable. "Sure," James replied, "Frankie, Wormtail, if you please." Frank Longbottom and Peter Petigrew left the dormitory. "So what is it Moony?" James asked, with a serious look on his face. "Well, I err… umm, last night Raven and I kinda… uhhh…" Remus stuttered. "Did you snog?" Sirius asked with a wolfish grin on his face. Slowly, Remus nodded. "YEE-HAH! WHOOP- WHOOP DING-DING!" Sirius yelled. James looked at his friend with concern. "What did you say, Padfoot?" "Oh, well I have decided to quit being a slimy brit and become a hilly- billy." Sirius replied with an insane smile. "Okaay, Padfoot had his head cracked last night." James said.

"So Moony, what's the problem? You snogged, nothing wrong with… Oh no, Moony, you ran didn't you?" James asked as realization dawned on him. Remus , shamefaced, nodded, his head hanging, refusing to meet James's eyes. Sirius then regained his small amount of brain, and said, "Moony, we told you, it's not your fault about what you are; It's who you are that counts." "Padfoot, she doesn't know. This is turning into a serious relationship. It's not just let's have butterbeers at Hogsmeade anymore. We're kissing. She has the right to know what I am." Remus replied warily.

"Moony, snap out of it. If you want to tell her, you have my blessing. But don't think it will change a thing. Raven is sensible, she won't care. She might not know what you are, but she knows who you are, and she'll remember that in the end. But I forbid you to push everyone away from you. You deserve love, you really do; you just need to accept it." James said to Remus, clapping his shoulder as he walked out of the dormitory.

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A/N: Hey, people. Thanks for reading my story. Please review, I don't care how long or short it is. Also, some people say that this story is too fast paced, so I'll warn you now that this is a fast paced fic, cause there is a lot of information in it. Also, I promise that there is humor on the way. Oh, yeah, there are some people who don't like James cutting himself. I know that self- mutilation bothers some people, but there is some significance to it in later chapters. Sorry this batch of chapters took so long, ch.5 was lost in a power outage, so I had to rewrite it. Thanks again for reading!

**Marauding-Moonbabe**


	6. Chapter 6

**Bittersweet**

**Ch.6-You and Me**

What day is it

And in what month

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people

Nothing to do, nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say 

Just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people

With nothing to do, nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you 

Lifehouse- You and Me

**A/N: I have redone the previous chapters, so you might want to reread them. Most are just grammatical mistakes, but you must reread chapter one! I put in another scene in it, and it is very, very, very important. So reread chapter one before you read this chapter. Thanks, and enjoy!**

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Remus took a deep breath. He had never told anyone his secret. James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily had figured it out. He didn't know what to say. "Hi, remember me? I'm the one who kissed you in the astronomy tower last night. Guess what? Once a month I turn into a bloodthirsty monster that would very much like to rip you to pieces! You guessed right, I'm a werewolf! Ding, ding, ding that is correct as usual Queen Saturday! So, would you like to continue where we left off last night?" Remus thought bitterly. Still, he reminded himself, Raven had a right to know. He then set his jaw and walked down to the common room.

When he walked down, the red and gold common room was surprisingly empty. It smelled slightly of dungbombs. Remus then saw his girlfriend. Oh how he loved her. Yes, he had decided it was love, puppy love or not, he loved her. Her black hair fell to the middle of her back in soft ringlets. Today it was in French pigtails, with the excess corkscrewing down her back. Her dark blue eyes were lined with worry. "Remus, James said you needed to talk to me. What's wrong? Did I do something…" Remus sighed. He was so grateful for his friends arranging the talk with his girlfriend. It was just so hard to tell Raven about what he was.

Raven, I… we need to talk. You might want to sit down." Remus said. "Oh my gosh. Are you breaking up with me?" Raven asked the stereotypical question. "No, but you might want to break up with me after we talk. Please sit down." Raven sat on the couch, expecting Remus to sit beside her, but Remus sat in the overstuffed armchair across from her instead. As confusion was written across Raven's face, Remus thought, "_She won't be so disappointed after I tell her who- what I am._"

"Raven, last night, well, I have no regrets for myself, but you might. I'm sorry. I had no right to…" "Remus I don't regret kissing you last night. I loved it. Why are you acting so odd?" Raven cut across him. "Well, Raven, I need to tell you, you have a right to know. Raven, I'm a, I'm a…" Remus lost all confidence. "You're a what, Remus?" "Ah, nothing, Raven nothing." "It's not nothing, Remus, it's not. I've not seen Sirius so sober since he was accidentally turned into a sloth in Transfiguration. Tell me truth, you told me I deserved it." Raven said, holding back tears. She couldn't stand to see Remus so helpless.

Before Remus could lose his nerve a second time, he blurted, "Raven, when I was six, I was outside taking care of my dog, Snuffles. A great brown dog tried to attack him. I was only six, but I loved Snuffles, and I didn't want him to get hurt. I tried to stop the dog, but he bit my back, then everything else. Just before I blacked out, the dog killed Snuffles. Snuffles died standing over me, died protecting me. He did a good job, the brown dog went away, but the damage was done. I woke up in Saint Mungo's a week later. That wasn't any dog, it was a werewolf. I'm a werewolf, Raven."

Raven got up and walked over to where Remus was now standing. She slapped him hard across the face. Remus did not try to defend himself. He felt he deserved it. "That's for thinking I was shallow enough to care about that." Then Raven did something totally unexpected. She waved her wand over his face to relieve the pain from the slap, and hugged him, saying, "And that's for the pain."

It was the best hug that Remus had since before he was six years old. His parents tried to help Remus, but they were wary of him all the same. The hug was full of something that Remus thought he didn't deserve- love. "Oh, Remus, you thought that what you are once a month would make me forget who you were every other day? You still had the courage to come to me and tell me? Dumbledore was right when he said that now was the time to chose between what was right and what was easy. You are so sweet, and brave. Thank you for telling me the truth."

"But Raven, you don't understand, I can hurt, mutate, kill once a month." Remus protested, but Raven put a finger to his lips. "But against your will. Now, where did we leave off last night?" Remus smiled to himself at these words. He then did what he had wanted to do for so long- show his love to Raven by giving her the gentlest kiss on the face of the Earth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he laid his arms around her waist gently. His mind resembled a scrambled egg as Raven kissed him again. They then laid their foreheads together, smiling at each other in blissful happiness.

$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&

The Great Hall was full of the chatter of teenagers. People in thee talked about everything from apricots to Zelda. Yes, Sirius Black was a fan of Zelda. His favorite t-shirt was from a muggle shop that said, "Don't make me go Zelda on you!" with a little green dude under the writing. Sirius was just explaining the principles of video games to James when the Great Hall doors burst open. The Great Hall fell silent. You would have heard a fly dropping dead in shock of the scene before it. In fact, a fly did drop dead when it saw the scene before its eyes. The fly saw hundreds of little house elves rallying under a banner with the Zelda logo on it wearing green tea cozy hats with green towels. All non-delusional people (and flies) in the Great Hall, they saw an even more spectacular scene than hundreds of house elf Zelda's running amok.

The Slytherin table had everyone's mouth open in shock and disgust. The Hufflepuff table huffed. The Ravenclaw table exchanged knowing looks. The Griffindor table smiled. The Head table started exchanging money. Remus Lupin and Raven Monghi walked into the Great Hall, oblivious to the behavior of everyone eating breakfast. They were talking pleasantly, arm in arm, laughing at heaven knows what. This was a shock different from the usual Remus, walking in with the Marauders, not saying a thing. It was a shock to see the pair so… happy was an extreme understatement.

The Great Hall suddenly broke out of its reverie. People were crossing the Great Hall swap galleons, sickles, and knuts. Many bets were on Raven and Remus, when they would stop the 11-year-old version of dating and join the big kids, but many more were on Lily and James. The appearance of Remus and Raven had made all heads snap to the Griffindor table, only to see Lily and James arm in arm, whispering in each other's ear, gently kissing each other on the cheek.

The madness of Dumbledore prevailed, and he stood up. " Minerva, I believe that you awe me 27 galleons, 7 sickles, and 18 knuts for Miss. Evans and Mr. Potter, and 15 galleons, 2 sickles, and 6 knuts for Mrs. Monghi and Mr. Lupin. In turn, McGonagall turned to Slughorn and said, "Horace, I believe that you owe me the same amount, times 1.5." Slughorn turned to Severus Snape and said, " Cough it up, kid."

The Griffindor table had their own pot going. Surprisingly enough, Maxine won the pot for Raven and Remus, and Sirius won the pot for James and Lily. They both agreed to go to Hogsmeade together so they could have the ultimate splurge shopping spree.

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The next few weeks passed by in blissful happiness for the next few weeks. Lily and James did Head rounds hand in hand. Lily was still surprised at this new James Potter. He had never once done more than kiss the top of her head or cheek since that fateful night. They would talk about many things, from the latest Sirius Black craze (who apparently saw the same thing as that poor fly), to James's parents. Remus and Raven fared the same way, though they were a bit shyer, as they were not used to the public spotlight. Both dormitories were in a considerably lighter mood. Alas, James did remember Lily saying she would play Dare or Dare…

**A/N: So this is chapter six. What devilish things can come from a Dare or Dare contest? You will see, just put on your laughing caps, for I have many things in store for you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bittersweet**

**Ch.7 Dare or Dare**

**A/N: The songs in this chapter are by the following artists: Kelly Clarkson, Maroon 5, Train, Avril Lavinge, Joy Williams, and The Click Five. I have mutated some ofthe songsa bit to fit the story better. Be prepared for tons of songs in this chappie, you don't have to read them, but read all the regular text. I know it's sorta stupid to put them all together, but this is what I have been "called to do for this story". So stupidly dorky or not, please review. Also thanks to Heartdamoose for giving long reviews every chapter, along with some other people.**

"Dare or dare?" Lilly asked Amy Fleming. "Why do you ask that? Dare." "Go ask Ty out on a date." "Fine! I will." Amy got up and walked out of the Portrait Hole. "She'll be gone for at least three hours. James, you go next." James smirked at Lily. They had a plan to play matchmaker. "Frank, you and Alice have to go to the 3rd floor broom closet and stay there, together, for two hours. Take a watch, and I put a charm on you to prevent you from coming out early or not going there." Alice's mouth opened and closed several time so that she looked like a fish out of water. Frank looked nervous, but then set his jaw and firmly nodded. He helped Alice up and both walked out of the Portrait Hole looking very shy. Both Gryffindors had liked each other for over 2 years now, but both were too shy to admit it.

Sirius looked at Peter with a malicious grin on his face. "Peter, you have to go to the Hufflepuff common room and disrobe in this order: underwear, undershirt, shirt, pants, and robes. Keep your tie on at all times, but never touch it. While doing this, you must yell, 'I am a gay pigmy puff!' at the top of your lungs. If someone talks to you, yell even louder, 'Life is like a watermelon when you are a gay pigmy puff!' Then you can streak for three hours; I know you like to." Peter had a wide, tooth-splitting grin on his face as he literally skipped away to the Hufflepuff common room.

The Dare or Dare circle now consisted of only six people: Sirius, Max, Remus, Raven, James, and Lily. James stood up. "Now that all of the insignificant people" Lily slapped him, but James continued, "are gone, we can commence with the real Dare or Dare contest. We are now officially starting the Gryffindor Karaoke Cook-off! We all have five minutes to invent a song to sing for our partners. The pairings are: Sirius and Max, Raven and Remus, and Lily and I. Ready? Set. Go!" The other 5 people in the common room stared at James like he had turned into a mongoose, which he may have, and then set to work on their songs. Five minutes later, James stood up again. "Now that we have finished our songs, we have 20 minutes to change into proper clothing for our singing début in the Gryffindor Karaoke Cook-off!"

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"Hey, Moony, what are you wearing?" Sirius asked, while rummaging in his trunk for only heaven knows what. "I dunno, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Remus sighed, while looking at his dismal wardrobe. " Doesn't matter? Of course it matters! You can take what you want from my trunk, I don't care. Should I wear hot or baby pink?" "Hot pink, it's much more masculine. Here Moony, wear this shirt with Padfoot's black jeans. James tossed a hunter green shirt to his friend while putting on a tight black T-shirt with stonewashed jeans. Sirius pulled on his favorite pair of Turkish leather pants. "Let's go."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Girl's Dormitory $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"I'll do Lily's makeup, she can do Max's, and she'll do mine, okay?" The girls nodded in agreement to Raven. After the makeup was properly in place, they set about putting on proper clothes. In the end, Max was wearing hunter green pants, a black studded belt, and a gray tank top that said, "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it." Raven wore black pants with a blue shirt that said," Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in chocolate." Lily wore hunter green pants, an orange army belt, and an almost transparent orange shirt that said, "I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier." The three girls quickly went downstairs to meet… Sirius Black throwing paper airplanes!

"Hiya, people!" Sirius Black yodeled. He had on Turkish leather pants 2 sizes too small, and a blinding hot pink shirt that said, "Chaos, panic, and disorder- my work is done here." James was wearing stylish stonewashed and slightly frayed pants and a tight black shirt. Remus had similar attire, only with black pants and a green shirt. Lily hated to admit, but they all had good fashion sense, except Sirius. "Let's get this Cook-off started!" James yelled, jumping over the back of an innocent, unsuspecting couch. "Max, you go first, you look brave and insane tonight."

Max stood up, grateful that Sirius had dropped Dungbombs and put a charm on the portrait hole so that the common room would stay empty for hours to come. "Ok, ahhh, my song for Sirius is called um… 'Who Knows'." Nervous at first, she started her song.

_Why do you look so familiar _

_I could swear that I have seen your face before _

_I think I like that you seem sincere _

_I think I'd like to get to know you _

_A little bit more_

Sirius smiled at Max, who in turn felt warmth crawl up her from her toes to her head. She began to smile, and her voice became stronger as she entered the chorus.

_I think there's something more _

_Life's worth living for _

_Who knows what could happen _

_Do what you do_

_Just keep on laughing _

_One thing's true _

_There's always a brand new day _

_I'm gonna live today like it's my last day _

_How do you always have an opinion _

_How do you always find_

_The best way to compromise _

_We don't need to have a reason _

We don't need anything 

_We're just wasting time_

She smiled at Sirius as she repeated the chorus, and thought that maybe he wasn't as insane as she thought_. "Nope, he's still crazy, but hot crazy."_ As she watched him shift and pick at his leather pants, which accidentally- on purpose gave her a good view of his butt. Lily slapped him.

_Find yourself _

_'Cause I can't find you _

_Be yourself _

_Who are you? _

_Find yourself _

_'Cause I can't find you _

_Be yourself _

_Who are you? _

This time, she danced and shook her head to the chorus, encouraging Sirius to do the same. Sirius took advantage of the situation to show off his leather pants, shaking his butt in everyone's faces.

So you go and make it happen 

_Do your best _

_Just keep on laughing _

_I'm telling you _

_There's always a brand new day_

Everyone clapped at Max's brave, insane performance. The Marauders actually yelled 'Kazaa' while jumping in the air. Then Sirius took a deep breath and Stepped up to the "platform" which was actually a rug in front of the fire. Sirius was flattered by Max's performance. He rethought that statement. _Sirius Black does not get flattered. I do the flattering. I think I'm hooked. Oh please, sweet Merlin, have mercy, I can't be hung up on a girl. I'll never live this down. Maybe I should go back to those people that I shared horrid childhood memories and a last name with right now while I'm in this alternate universe._ Forcing himself out of his thoughts, he began his intro. "My song is called, 'She will be Loved'."

_Beauty queen of only seventeen_

_She had some trouble with herself_

_He was always there to help her_

_She always belonged to someone else_

_I drove for miles and miles_

_And wound up at your door_

_I've had you so many times but somehow_

_I want more_

Sirius plunged into the chorus, but found himself unable to look into Max's blue eyes, so he looked instead at the couch she was sitting on. That made Lily think that he was looking at her friend's chest, and made a mental note to slap him.

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_She will be loved_

_Tap on my window knock on my door_

_I want to make you feel beautiful_

_I know I tend to get insecure_

_It doesn't matter anymore_

Sirius now thought to warn Max that there was a promise he could not keep in the midst of a war.

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_It's compromise that moves us along_

_My heart is full and my door's always open_

_You can come anytime you want_

_I don't mind spending everyday_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_She will be loved_

As he repeated the chorus he realized that he had a feeling that he had never had before. It was like longing, but not. It was like what he felt for the Marauders, but different. It wasn't like what he felt for other girls; he wanted to make her laugh when she was happy, and hold her when she was sad. He was utterly clueless as to what the feeling was. He would ask James about it later. "Ok Lily, your turn."

Lily would not hold for being nervous, she would not hold for shame. She stepped up to the uhhh… rug, and announced, "My song to James is called 'You Found Me', and Sirius, I forbid you to make anything perverted about it." She started in her alto (and natural) voice.

_Is this a dream _

_If it is _

_Please don't wake me from this high _

_I'd become comfortably numb _

_Until you opened up my eyes _

_To what it's like _

_When everything's right _

_I can't believe_

She started the chorus with eyes bubbling with happiness, having no sight other than James.

_You found me _

_When no one else was looking _

_How did you know just where I would be _

_Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion _

_The ups and the downs _

_And you still didn't leave _

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see _

_You found me_

_You found me_

_So here we are _

_And that's pretty far _

_When you think of where we've been _

_No going back, I'm fading out _

_All that has faded me within _

_You're by my side _

_Now everything's fine _

_I can't believe_

Lily repeated the chorus, and spread her feet wider to give her more support, for all she wanted to do was melt into those hazel eyes she saw.

_And I was hiding _

_Till you came along _

_And showed me where I belong _

_You found me _

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know, how did you know_

_You found me _

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be _

_Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion _

_The ups and the downs _

_And you still didn't leave _

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see _

_You found me_

As she finished, she hugged James before she sat down and he got up to sing. She was excited to see what he would sing about. "This is a song I wrote about 2 years ago, before Lily blessed me with her holy presence." James smirked as Lily swatted at him.

_She's cold and she's cruel_

_But she knows what she's doin'_

_She pushed me in the pond_

_At our last meeting_

_She laughs at my dreams_

_But I dream about her laughter_

_Strange as it seems_

_She's the one I'm after_

_Cause she's bittersweet_

_She knocks me off of my feet_

_And I can't help myself_

_I don't want anyone else_

_She's a mystery_

_She's too much for me_

_But I keep comin' back for more_

_She's just the girl I'm lookin' for_

James remembered all the times he had been literally knocked off of his feet, either by a spell or a physical blow from Lily.

_She can't bite back a retort_

_For more than a second_

_She runs on 100 Marauder-proof power_

_And the more she ignores me_

_The more I adore her_

_What can I do?_

_I'd do anything for her_

_Lily really is Marauder-proof. _James thought as he repeated the chorus. He then finished off his song with a bang in his sweet, tenor voice.

_The way she sees it's me_

_On her caller ID_

_She won't pick up the phone_

_She'd rather be alone_

_But I can't give up just yet_

_Cause every word she's ever said_

_Is still ringin' in my head_

_Still ringin' in my head_

_She's cold and she's cruel_

_But she knows what she's doin'_

_Knows just what to say_

_So my whole day is ruined_

_Cause she's bittersweet_

_She knocks me off of my feet_

_And I can't help myself_

_I don't want anyone else_

_She's a mystery_

_She's too much for me_

_But I keep comin' back for more_

_Cause she's just the girl I'm lookin' for_

Just the girl I'm lookin' for 

Lily was shocked yet pleased at this honest song. She was surprised at the boldness James had to sing her this after he came up with it for her two years ago. As James sat down, she scooted onto his lap. As Remus stepped up, she had a feeling that the best couple of songs would be saved for last. Remus cleared his throat nervously, then said, "Raven, I dedicate this song to you. I mean every word of it. It's named 'Drops of Jupiter'. I hope you like it, cause I think it's pretty good."

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere_

_With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey_

_She acts like summer and walks like rain_

_Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey_

_Since the return from her stay on the moon_

_She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey_

_Tell me did you sail across the sun_

_Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded_

_And that heaven is overrated_

_Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star_

_One without a permanent scar_

_And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there_

Remus took a deep breath. He had put special emphasis on the stanzas 'fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar" and "listens like spring and she talks like June'. He continued on.

_Now that she's back from that soul vacation_

_Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey_

_She checks outMerlin while she does tae-boo_

_Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey_

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere_

_I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane_

_Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land_

_Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet_

_Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day_

_And head back to the milky way_

_And tell me, did Venus blow your mind_

_Was it everything you wanted to find_

_And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there_

Remus now thought that he couldn't breathe for looking at Raven. She was his oxygen. She smiled at him, giving him the courage to finish the song that he believed in so fiercely.

_Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried pork-chops_

_Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong_

_Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour floo_

_Conversation_

_The best butterbeer that you ever had . . . and me_

_Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet_

_Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day_

And head back toward the milky way 

_Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star_

_One without a permanent scar_

_And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there_

"Oh, Remus, I've never been happier with you. Ever." She whispered in his ear, and Remus smiled. "Well, I'm last, but definitely not least, so Remus, my song for you is called 'Hide'. Come talk to me afterwards about the last couple of stanzas, okay?" Remus nodded, and Raven started to sing in a clear, strong voice.

_To anyone who hides behind a smile _

_To anyone who holds their pain inside _

_To anyone who thinks they're not good enough _

_To anyone who feels unworthy of love _

_To anyone who ever closed the door _

_Closed their eyes and locked themselves away, I say:_

_You don't have to hide _

_You don't have to hide anymore _

_You don't have to face this on your own _

_You don't have to hide anymore_

As Raven paused for a moment to breathe, Remus stared in shock. He expected good lyrics from Raven since she was the second smartest witch in the school, behind Lily, but nothing of this magnitude.

_So come out, come out, come out wherever you are _

_To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars _

_To anyone who's ever made a big mistake _

_We've all been there, so don't be ashamed _

_Come out, come out and join the rest of us _

_You've been alone for way too long_

_And if you feel like no one understands _

_Come to the One with scars on His hands _

_'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been _

_His scars will heal you if you let Him_

Remus was confused. Who had scars on his hands? Was he an older werewolf? How could his scars heal him? He knew where he had been? No one knows that.This must be the stanza Raven was talking about. He pushed it out of his mind as Raven began to sing again. She was really good. He knew there was a choir, but she wasn't in it, and yet, she was better than the whole choir put together.

_You don't have to hide _

_You don't have to hide anymore _

_You don't have to face this on your own _

_You don't have to hide anymore_

_You don't have to hide _

_You don't have to hide anymore _

_You don't have to face this on your own _

_You don't have to hide anymore _

_You don't have to_

_You don't have to_

_You don't have to hide_

_You don't have to hide_

_You don't have to_

Raven finished as the five other teens gaped. Remus has his jaw dropped to the floor. She put her finger under his chin and closed it, then gestured to a dark corner of the common room. They needed to talk about another important relationship that Remus had.

**A/N: Okay, so that is chapter seven. It's a lot shorter than it appears, because of the lyrics, but it is still quite long. I'm working really hard on getting longer chapters. I guess you found out about my other obsessions in this chapter. I love funny, but not offensive T-shirts, and these songs have been itching to come out, and this is a lot easier than writing fifteen one-shots. So I know that I have bored you to tears with like six songs in one chapter, so I promise that there will only be the regular one at the top in chapter eight. I'm sure you all figured out what it was Sirius was feeling, but he's a dumbbell, so he doesn't know yet. I'm also assuming you know what Raven's most important stanzas are talking about, but Remus doesn't, so some of next chapter will be about that.**


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